CASE STUDIES

Please note: All names of participants have been changed.

Ruth and Amy: ElderFriends Richmond

Ruth is a 78 year old widow who was referred to ElderFriends in 2007.  Ruth, a born and bred Richmond woman, had been living alone since the death of her husband.  In December of 2006, a stroke affected her speech and ability to use her right side.  Rehabilitative therapy helped Ruth to regain some of the skills she had lost, but she still found herself struggling with her speech. The loss of mobility restricted Ruth’s ability to get out, and her difficulties with speech caused her to shy away from social interactions. With no children and only her two aging siblings for visits, Ruth was becoming more and more isolated. With the encouragement from her sister Dorothy, Ruth agreed to meeting with a friendly visitor through ElderFriends.

In June of 2007, Ruth was paired with Amy, a 31 year old pharmaceutical sales representative. From their very first meeting, Ruth was struck by Amy’s assertive, unflappable demeanor, and in the months since, they have grown very close.  Ruth was grateful to be matched with a volunteer who was so encouraging and supportive. Amy did not mind Ruth’s speech delay, and even encouraged her to practice speech therapy. Ruth looks forward to her weekly visits with Amy, who is always sure to bring a fresh vase of flowers with her to lighten up the room. Sometimes they go out for some fun, to get a pedicure. Other times, the two stay in to talk and work on puzzles. As an important figure in Amy’s life, Ruth has met both Amy’s partner and her mother. In between visits, Amy often calls Ruth to check in and chat. As their relationship has evolved into a strong, reciprocal friendship, both Amy and Ruth can attest to the difference it has made in their lives.   Amy believes that Ruth has “helped in her ability to love” others, and to give of herself.  Ruth cherishes her relationship with Amy, whom she considers to be as close and important as family. When asked about Amy, Ruth glows as she smiles and laughs over the memories they have created together. Their friendship is an irreplaceable joy that has shown both of them new ways to love and appreciate others, as well as themselves. 

Miles and Stephen: ElderFriends Richmond

Miles is an elderly gentleman living in Richmond, Va.  With no immediate family, Miles chose to retire in Virginia, near some distant relatives. Miles has always lived alone and is known to be an eccentric, private man. Many of his close friends do not even know his age or birthday. With this background, few would have suspected Miles would be willing to allow a stranger into his home for regular visits.   But with the encouragement from the social worker at his senior living community, Miles agreed to be visited.  In July of 2006 Miles was paired with Stephen, a middle aged businessman from Cleveland, Ohio.

For the past two years, Miles and Stephen have been developing a strong friendship. Early in their relationship, Stephen and Miles preferred meeting in public places and going out for dinner and shows, but as they became better acquainted, both felt more comfortable chatting in Miles’ apartment. Miles and Stephen have now become close friends, sharing weekly visits and frequent phone conversations. Although still a private and independent man, Miles has come to appreciate his time with Stephen, who is one of his few friends. Miles appreciates Stephen’s easy going and calming personality that helps dispel negative thoughts and bad moods. During the day, Miles tapes interesting stories from the History Channel and Antiques Road Show to share with Stephen.  Miles also enjoys cooking dinner for the two of them to share when Stephen has had a long day at work.

Stephen enjoys the time he has with Miles and has developed a unique fondness for a man whom he considers to be “a very good friend”. One of the highlights of Stephen’s visits is hearing Miles reminiscent about his younger years. And on those long days at work, when Stephen needs a smile or a pick-me-up, he can look into his desk drawer and read a letter that Miles sent him a year into their friendship. In it, Miles describes the impact their friendship has had on his life and how much Stephen mean to him. Although Miles has not been able to make many friends, he has formed a strong bond with Stephen that has helped to alleviate his loneliness and breaks up the monotony of his week.

Donna and Francis: Elderfriends Richmond

99 year old Donna was facing a unique situation when her 80 year-old son’s wife had a mini-stroke which resulted in his having to spend more of his time caring for her and less of his time caring for his mother.  Although the retired dancer, who had moved to Richmond from New York City when her husband became ill, could basically care for herself, her poor eyesight prevented her from getting out much and from cooking her own meals.  In addition, Donna simply felt isolated and lonely. 

After reporting these feelings,  and her desire to get out of the house with a companion to her Meals on Wheels representative, the nearly-blind widow was referred to ElderFriends.  She has since been enjoying a close relationship with Francis, the friendly visiting volunteer that she was matched with approximately six months ago. 

Francis is a middle-aged graduate student living far away from her own family in India.  Francis visits in home and takes Donna out, which gives Donna something to look forward to.  Francis also occasionally cooks special food from her home country for Donna.  These special meals give Donna a break from her routine Meals on Wheels dinners. 

Donna reports that she sees Francis as the daughter she never had.  She says that she is kind, considerate, eager to please and she “doesn’t look annoyed at an old woman.”  Donna’s son is still needed and able to help her with instrumental tasks, such as taking her to her doctor’s appointments, but her loneliness is at least somewhat alleviated through her weekly visits and phone calls from Francis and her weekly phone chats and occasional visits from the ElderFriends coordinator.  The relationship is reciprocal, as Francis gets a lot out her relationship with Donna as well.

Bill and Ryan: Elderfriends Seattle

76 year old Bill was referred to ElderFriends by Aging and Disability Services.  Bill is a low-income Caucasian male who lives alone in his own apartment and cares for himself independently.  The Case Manager completed an intake referral form on Bill that indicated his physical and emotional difficulties/ challenges.  Among them was vision loss; hearing loss; does not go out; history of stroke; wants a friendly visitor; isolated and lonely.